Grew up as atheist

A friend sent me this link (http://www.everystudent.com/features/isthere.html) written by a once atheist talking about several reasons of believing in God. I really like the first 5 points about our marvelous world. It never stops amazing me that our universe operates not only on a lawful base, but also in an unbelievably beautiful way. The world, as the author has said, doesn’t have to be orderly and beautiful. It actually has much more chances to become chaotic. Nevertheless it is highly ordered and harmoniously gorgeous. These points may not be a direct proof of the existence of God, but very valid points to invoke one’s deep thoughts.

I grew up also as an atheist in communist country. But people who believed in God never bothered me, they were just irrelevant to my life. Till I left China in late 1980’s and went to Europe, I realized that many people and many intelligent people in the world believed in God. I remember clearly that a question popped into my head one time “How come we (Chinese) are so smart that we have figured out there is no God, but the rest of the world are so ignorant that they still believe in God even in this modern age?” But not until I was trapped in utterly desperation and completely out of option in life that my heart became softened and I started to think seriously about the issue of God. I was fortunate, very fortunate to meet a couple of highly intelligent and enormously loving people to guide me on my journey of seeking answers in a way that was most suitable to my understanding. How utterly despair I would have felt if they were not there to answer my questions when I needed them the most. Every time when I read the quote by Baha'u'llah: ‘What "oppression" is more grievous than that a soul seeking the truth, and wishing to attain unto the knowledge of God, should know not where to go for it and from whom to seek it?’
my heart sorely testifies the truth of these words.

Now I look back after twenty years of experience in the world where there is God that my life has been so enriched beyond any wild imagination. The horizon of my life and my perspective about life has changed from a few limited decades to eternity in duration, from a meaningless and hopelessly imperfect random product to a purposefully designed human reality with a potential for perfection. I lived through the two worlds for almost equal amount of years. Often I thought that growing up as an atheist has certain advantages: I have seen both sides of stories. The most striking difference which matters to me is that in the world where there is God, being good actually counts. It is a great feeling to know that there is a foundation for everything to be built upon, a standard to strive towards and a purpose in everything that exists. And above all, there is a Power in control and that Power represents goodness and perfection.